Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
honey bunches of taint.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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