it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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