Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
