don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
