The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
