not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
