Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
