Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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