I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
