I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
