I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
