Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
