Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You were trust falling into bushes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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