I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
