just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
