Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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