Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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