he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
