Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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