this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
