I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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