What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
