butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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