I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
