The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
