Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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