There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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