i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
