Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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