Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
