at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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