I wannas sexs uuuuu
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize