I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
