the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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