Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
