Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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