I understand Curling. That high.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
