I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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