Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Slut skills are useful in every country.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize