I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
