capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
