There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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