you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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