Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
