I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
