My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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