I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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