If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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