We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
