oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize