and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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