just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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