Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
