Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize