He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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