this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
