i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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