no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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