everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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