They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
