remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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