Whod you bang
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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