i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
