'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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