I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
