Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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  (401): I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped. http://tfl.nu/rhrp
  Replies (60) Good night (969) Bad night (16179)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  What did I say?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,

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  (636): You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why. (847): What did I say? (636): Don't ask me questions while I have an erection, http://tfl.nu/e9w1
  Replies (11) Good night (7853) Bad night (1161)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy

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  (917): I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy http://tfl.nu/okyl
  Replies (1) Good night (2477) Bad night (1108)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box

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  (704): Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box http://tfl.nu/xete
  Replies (3) Good night (2351) Bad night (740)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY

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  (641): TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY http://tfl.nu/5weu
  Replies (8) Good night (2251) Bad night (1196)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night

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  (862): You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night http://tfl.nu/zmqw
  Replies (3) Good night (1728) Bad night (531)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.

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  (828): I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know. http://tfl.nu/l3hv
  Replies (11) Good night (1055) Bad night (490)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.

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  (540): Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat. http://tfl.nu/hg85
  Replies (4) Good night (2025) Bad night (533)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.

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  (+44): Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower. http://tfl.nu/m2lh
  Replies (6) Good night (1878) Bad night (437)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday

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  (240): ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday http://tfl.nu/ci9y
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (297)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Are you high?

  (425): View more from Washington

  The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear

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  (206): Are you high? (425): The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear http://tfl.nu/kpg7
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (235)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?

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  (802): When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean? http://tfl.nu/44u3
  Replies (4) Good night (1147) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.

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  (630): then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm. http://tfl.nu/owix
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (212)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.

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  (360): There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info. http://tfl.nu/i0nt
  Replies (0) Good night (240) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.

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  (775): This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door. http://tfl.nu/tqwh
  Replies (5) Good night (217) Bad night (416)

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