Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
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She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
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It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Randomize
