New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots