i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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