I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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