i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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