He is an equal opportunity slut.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
